I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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