Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my being single is dangerous.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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