My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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