so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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