I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
