Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
