I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
