benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
