Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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