Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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