I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
