it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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