..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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