Please, let me fuck your mom
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
