dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
