Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize