he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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