Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
