is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
