I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
