I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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