Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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