Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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