grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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