Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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