Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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