she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
