That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She announced her abortion via fbk
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
