New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
