How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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