TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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