Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
