Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
