it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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