you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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