Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ok first of all what the fuck
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
