This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
