all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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