Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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