honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
