Someone shit on the floor
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
