Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
