why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize