So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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