i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
