have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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