last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize