idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
