last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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