am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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