dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
