Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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