Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
