Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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