who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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