I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
