i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
