I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
