Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
