I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize