i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
