I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
