I'm laying in your front yard are you home
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
