idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
