dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
