I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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