Sponge bath it is.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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