Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
